Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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