Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
