I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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