I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
