You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
