I will die if light touches me.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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