So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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