Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
