she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize