But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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