Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
