The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
