it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Let's paint friendship bongs
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
