dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
