FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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