Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
