Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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