In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
