just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
