thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
