At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
