Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize