ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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