You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We left the knife in your bed.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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