On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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