Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
