try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
