so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
