he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize