Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
