It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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