Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
