Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
