i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize