I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
