i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
two words: eviction party
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
