I wannas sexs uuuuu
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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