You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
