Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
