The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
