i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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