I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
