Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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