i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
