We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She needs sedatives and a leash
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
