the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
