This girl is more easily done than said...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
