i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
