I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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