My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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