my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
