Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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