On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
