I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
foreskin is a definite game changer
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
