I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize