elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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