Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
