last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
