i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize