I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
