i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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