Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
