Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
