Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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