My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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